im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
