isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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