when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
50% drunk capacity currently
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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