if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
