eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
