Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
false alarm. still invincible.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
