DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Girls should come with a carfax report
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
