Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
