I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My pussy is not your playground.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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