You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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