If that was your dad, he is hot
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
