i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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