you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
