God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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