She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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