you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
