i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
