Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
