you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
