i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize