I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy