My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something