covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
