is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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