Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize