smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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