Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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