I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
