That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
