Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
