Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
