Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
