There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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