When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
