im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I skipped work to stalk him.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
