I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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