were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
