i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
