i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
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phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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