On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
