I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
only you would photoshop your dick
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
