you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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