Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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