Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
