It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
