Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
