Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
whose ass print is on the piano?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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