Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
