remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
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He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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