Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
