I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
