theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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