I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
