My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
