I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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