I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
