I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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