The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize