She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
