I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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