she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
