only you would photoshop your dick
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize