i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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