you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
