i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
