I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
