just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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