the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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